Hello, it’s been a while. My last update was in 2017 just after my son, Aksara was born. And now he’s already a pre kindergarten student 🙂 Life is moving so fast.

I remember this blog because I wanna write something to myself. Reading my old posts help me to remember moments or everything I used to feel. And lately I feel half empty. I lost my north star.

That afternoon Ibu sent us message that Bapak was in pain and she took him to the hospital. But minutes later my brother called and sobbed because our beloved father already passed away. I will always remember that day, September 6th 2020. My heart was broken, my world was fallen apart. I cried hysterically and said “Aku nggak bisa, aku nggak bisa (I can’t-red)” over and over again to my husband. Aksara was confused but also try to comfort me. I called Ibu worried about her but she was the one who manage to stay calm.

I didn’t see it coming that Bapak would leave for eternity this soon. It seemed just another day we were having casual chat through video call. He was so fine and healthy. There was no sign at all. I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye.

Mas Adit drove that night to Salatiga accompanied by sleeping Aksara and me sobbing in the backseat. The longest night ever. Ibu hugged me when I arrived and asked me to bid farewell and pray for Bapak. I saw his face for the last time, sleeping peacefully. I felt like he was still there and I’m starting to accept he’s gone to a new journey.

Grateful that so many people, friends and family~hundred of them came, pray and bid farewell to Bapak. Can’t thank them enough. You are loved Bapak. Don’t worry about Ibu, we will take care of her.

Sumonggo Gusti. Sugeng Tindak Bapak. We will forever miss you and carry you in our prayers every single day. Al fatiha always for you.